one of the most powerful catalysts for a gut-wrenching, paralytic diarrhea attack is the meaningless press release. it seems like you can't go anywhere on the web without running into one of these fuckers. whether it's about some moronic fucking company who has just released the greatest piece of technology since microsoft bob (remember IBM's san francisco ...), or the anouncement of the latest fucking consultant supergroup, i'm sick of it -- trust me...i really don't need to be told in marketspeak euphamism bullshit just how your latest whatever is going to get me off in a passionate frenzy of orgasmic fury.
talk about a fucking mockery...you can't even read one of these things without running into 10 buzzwords, 5 industry luminary name-drops, and a reference to "numerous white-papers"...and that's all in the fucking FIRST SENTENCE! it's bad enough that industry professionals have to put up with this shit, but most of these things are for the general public! now wonder they think we're all a bunch of fucking dorks who speak klingon...
since there is so much bullshit going on, i've taken it upon myself to write a press release that is a little more realistic:
now that's more like it ;)